My Final Goodbye
by Pannecake
Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose post Doomsday RomanceAngst
1. Regrets of a Best Friend

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: the first part is a wee slow. But it'll pick up as it goes through this day in everyones POV.

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Part One: Regrets of a best friend

Each step I take I take with care. I know that one false move will set everyone off. We've all been at the end of our ropes for a few days now. I never believed anything Rose ever told me. She used to tell incredible stories every time she rang in during her trips. I should have believed her, maybe then things would have been different.

I've been so blind

Today is the day I've been dreading. I've been to too many these past few weeks... it's too hard. I lost everyone I ever cared about, and I lost her. We didn't end on good terms. We had a fight over the phone two days before it happened. I told her never to talk to me again. I never should say something like that again. With everything that has happened over the past two years, You have to expect that when a loved one walks out the door, it may be the last time you see them.

I was too angry.

I can't even remember what we were fighting over. I feel so stupid thinking back on all the times we swore we'd never speak again. It seems so trivial now that she's gone. Like nothing really mattered in comparison to how much she meant to me. She was the only person who really knew me. Now I'm alone again, and I feel empty. She was too good of a friend for me.

I took advantage of her.

I don't know if I can handle this anymore. too many people died that day, she was one of many. Yet as the world mourns I feel they are mourning for my best friend. She deserves it. She was the best.

My only real friend.

I hear they are burying her with her mother and Father. They say they never found a body. They also say she was fighting the metal men. Fighting for our lives. But that's only rumor. I like to think that she really did fight them... faught them to her final breath, it sounds like her.

I like to think alot of things.

I like to think she'd forgive me, but it's too late for that. It's too late for anything now. It's too late for regret. It's too late for her. I wish she were alive, so I could say good bye... one last time.

My Name is Shareen Jensen, Rose Tyler was my best friend. I'll never forget her.


	2. Wrath of a loved one

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: Excuses Excuses Excuses... that is all I have for ya folks... I can list of twenty or thirty reasons why I haven't updated anything... in forever... but I'm sure my classic rants would bore many of you... so I'll get on with it...

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Part Two: Wrath of a Loved one. 

I wake up, in the early morning. I can't sleep. I haven't been able to, since I found out. It's been hard to even think straight knowing that I'll never see her again. She was the one thing in my life I knew I could count on. The one person that I truly cared for. and I lost her.

I failed her.

I quickly rise from my bed. There's no time to waste today. I take a look at my apartment. I got angry last night. As I thought of her. I got angry at her. I remember throwing things at the wall, tearing up pictures that meant too much to me. It all seems petty and stupid now. But last night... Last night I blamed her. The part that sickens me most is that it felt great, for one night... not to blame myself.

I'm an awful person.

I look back and I am filled with anger and sorrow. I could've saved her. I could've shielded her from all this danger and sorrow time travel brings. But no... I watched her in silence. I never said a word. I wish I had.

I could've saved her.

I watched her grow up, in this very neighborhood. I watched her first day of school and her last. I watched the boyfriends, the best friends, the heart aches,...the deaths. Then one day...she didn't come home. That day turned into a year. Then she did come back. I left that day. I watched her grow up so I could get to know her better. Get to know the woman who saved my life..

My saving grace

I'm at the grave yard now. I walk amongst the graves, like I do everyday. But today I'm not wishing to be like them... today I'm wishing for them to be like me. Alive.

Especially her.

People beside and behind me cry. Not a tear leaves my eyes. I've cried enough for one day. I'll be brave fore everyone else. I'll be brave for her. I listen to the man speak, his voice so full of sadness. He talked about her life and her works. He knows so very little of her. He doesn't know that she saved their lives more than once...and that she lost her life... saving them.

She was the stuff of legends.

I walk in line, like all the others to place a single red Rose on her grave. I lay is amongst the others, with wishes to her that the darkness of death doesn't devour her beautiful soul, like it has mine. The same time I lay my rose down another man lays down a white lily. I always felt that it represented new life and rebirth. I looked up at the man, and see such sad brown eyes. They ring familiar. A woman stands beside him. A tear on her face. His is dry. I stand up straight as the man does and I watching him grab the young woman's hand. They walk off in silence.

She's still alive in the hearts of many.

I stand beside her grave and anger fills my soul. A familiar noise whips through the graveyard, one that only I know. I now know what I must do. What the Doctor would want me to do. What Rose would want me to do.

My name is Captain Jack Harkness, and I will take over Torchwood. For her Sake, and for the sake of others. So no one, will ever feel the pain and loss, that I have.

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A/N: so... if you couldn't tell... the man with no tears but tortured eyes and the woman in tears... are the Doctor and Martha..and the familiar sound is the tardis taking off. When I do the Doctor's goodbye... it won't be like any of these :D I promise.. I'm saving it for last :p 


	3. Sorrow of a lost boy

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: Excuses Excuses Excuses... that is all I have for ya folks... I can list of twenty or thirty reasons why I haven't updated anything... in forever... but I'm sure my classic rants would bore many of you... so I'll get on with it...

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Part three: Sorrow of a lost boy. 

She hasn't been the same, since she died. She spends her days looking out the window. Waiting. It kills me to think of telling her that he'll never come. I never end up doing it. I'm not that kind of man. But the sorrow in her eyes day in and out as she waits. It kills me too. I've never felt so dead and empty when I look into her eyes. There is no one there. Just a shell of a human. Her soul lost.

She must have loved him.

But sometimes she smiles. Whenever the wind blows and makes an odd echoing that rings of the TARDIS's legendary cry, she smiles , and I see it again. The youthful spark I used to love so much.

God how I miss her.

She grew up too fast for this world, for any world for that matter. She looks twenty but her eyes say forever. She has become, as she says... Timeless. Nothing matters but that window in her room... the one that looks onto Bad Wolf bay. We all moved here, to save her. I say it makes her just a little more happy, to wake up...and remember the definites of this world and the almosts of the other.

She could've had it all.

Instead she has us.

She turns to me and smiles sadly and pats the seat beside her. I take a few careful steps and gently take the seat. She leans into me and I wrap my arms around her. I let her cry. Rain begins to fall on our bitter sweet lives as tears begin to fall on my shoulder and my own in her hair. None of us would ever be the same.

Especially her.

Sometimes we forget to cry and we talk. Like old times, but different. Instead of talking about school and life... we talk about the wonders that our eyes have seen and the terrors that are still waiting to face us...and we talk about him. I don't care about that... I care about her.

She was the first person I ever loved.

She I kiss her head gently and hold her as she lets it all out. She can't live without him. He was her life. She feels stupid for crying. I tell her she isn't. I tell her that I cry for her each night. I pray for her, because I love her. She says that God can't be there...because if he were, he wouldn't have done this to her. I tell her that it doesn't matter, that what happens happens and that she shouldn't waste her life hanging on that one moment. To go on... because... the Doctor would want that.

I know he would.

She pushes me away and tells me I don't know what the Doctor would want. That I don't know him. I get up and walk away. I stop at the door, tears in my eye. I tell her that I may not know the Doctor, but I know the kinda of girl she is, and that any man who knew her...would want the exact same thing for her... to have a good life. I turn and leave she needs time... one day the storm will pass.

My name is Mickey Smith, and I love a woman who can never love me back and I'm fine with that.


	4. The Heart of a stranger

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: as you can tell.. I'm saving Rose and the Doctor for last.. seeing how this story is Rose Centric... and the Doctor... is awesome... I promise that the last chapter will be excellent..

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Part three: Heart of a Stranger 

I never met her. Yet here I stand, walking with the Doctor to the graveyard. I take his hand in mine and hold back the tears. I cry for him. For he has lost some one who meant something to him. I can't even imagine the pain he feels. He lost everything that day.

I only lost one thing.

He lost his family. Rose, Jackie, Mickey. The people he cared for the most n this world.. and he feel he has failed them ll. I can see it in his eyes. He knows he made the right choice when he sent her back. But I can see it deep within him.. he can't handle the loss. Outside he seems fine.. but deep down in his eyes he's being tortured. I squeeze his hand to comfort him.

He needs it.

He looks down on me with those ancient eyes that have seen so many deaths and losses. I wonder then... if to him this is just another one of those losses that life brings. All thoughts of that are cast out as I see a tear well up in his eyes. He pushes it back. She meant something more to him... she meant the world to him. The universe.

She must have been really special.

We stand in the back, we keep quiet as a man talks about life and death. So many people crying. So many people had loved her. So many people cared for her. Yet none knew that she was still alive...living life on the slow path.

Like the rest of us.

Sometimes I wonder if she's really happy. After seeing all that I've seen, if I were ever left to live the slow life.. I don't know if I'd be able to cope. But she's strong, she'll make it through. What I've learned of her from the Doctor...is that she would never give up.. not ever.. she'd never stop until she had what she needed. Till everyone was safe. He told me that she has a kind heart, a heart that feels so much. He said she is selfless..she gave everything she had to save everyone that day.

She was truly amazing.

I watch as people line up to place Roses on her grave. An empty grave. The Doctor walks forward and places a white lily atop the grave were all the Roses sit. He looks up at the man who has laid down a deep red rose. They look at each other for a moment. The doctor reaches for my hand and we walk off in silence. Leaving these people to mourn for a girl who hasn't died. A girl who will live on in the heart of the world and the hearts of a truly great man.

My name is Martha Jones, and I love some one I've never met.

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A/N: I felt that this chapter wasn't that good... considering that I know so very little of Martha... I've only seen one season with her. I love her character... she's great.. and Freema is amazing : D 


	5. Choice of the Valiant Child

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: so this is the second to last chapter... I know so short.. and the time just sort of started..then stopped.. the flew past me.

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Part Five: Choice of a valiant child. 

I woke up again last night. I had another dream of him. It kills me when I dream of him. He never leaves me alone... not ever. He's always beside me, behind me, inside me. He grows with in me, I'm turning into him. Cold. I only wish there was someone here to warm me up. To tell me to never give up hope. That one day.. I'll see him again. But there is no one here. They all tell me that I should move on. But I can't.. not now. I need more time. To think.

To wonder.

I sit here on my window seat. Same place I sit each day. Looking into the sky. Looking at the beach. Looking for him. Waiting. I know that he'll come back. He said it was impossible.. but anyone who knows him... knows that anything is possible for him. He makes all things possible. He turned a lonely woman into a hero, a scared boy into a brave man, a confused girl into the defender of earth.

He was the best.

Mickey hasn't come in today. It worries me when he doesn't come. What he doesn't know is that he's my rock. Without him I'd fall into the ocean and drown in all this sorrow. He keeps me sane.

He's healing me.

I regret not telling him sooner... how I felt. I loved him from the day he grabbed my hand and told me to run. He saved me from my life... my boring ordinary life. He showed me things most people wouldn't believe. He gave me everything I wanted and I was happy. I loved him from that day on.

and I'll never stop.

Sometimes I feel like I'm loosing what I was. Who I was when I was with him. I used to be so brave and so strong. Now I can't even leave my room without feeling lost. Some days though... when I feel as if I've heard him coming... I run to the beach and spend the day sitting on the cold Rocky shore. Thinking that he'll show up. He never does. But I keep my hopes up. I know he'll be back.

He's done the impossible and that makes him mighty in my eyes.

Most days it's hard. To look at my family and see what I'm doing to them. The Doctor left me with the greatest gift he ever could... and I treat it like I'm in hell. I've lost him... he is my life. Yet I look around and see my mother and father, Mickey, Little Suzette. maybe one day I'll be able to get on with my life. Maybe one day I'll be able to accept that this is my life. But I think for now... I'll wait for him.

Maybe not.

Mickey was right when he said I needed to move on. To get on with life. I can't change the fact that I'm here... but I can change my attitude about it. Life is wasted on those who spend it in misery. So maybe today is the day I begin to live again. Maybe this is what he'd want. No... it is what he wants. I get up from the window and head for the door.

It's time to start living again.

My name is Rose Marion Tyler and I'll carry on...even if it kills me.


	6. My Final Goodbye

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: The last Chapter :(

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Part Six: My Final Goodbye 

Martha and I walk along the beach. I can feel the her heart beating rapidly. She's nervous. So am I. But I pretend as if it's not there. The odd sense that we both don't belong here. We're right to feel that way. We aren't meant to be here. We're outsiders.

We don't belong here.

I remember telling Martha it was impossible for me to be here again. That I could never seen her again. That Rose and I would never cross paths as long as we both lived. That all hope was dead. I never did give up hope. I only did what was best for her. I told Rose it was impossible. So she'd move on.

I couldn't live with myself.

Yet here I stand on Bad Wolf bay the place where I almost told her. I feel the sand seeping into my shoes and I see Martha struggle to walk though it. For a moment she smiles. I see in her eyes that all fears have been left behind...for one moment. Then it's gone. She's back to being afraid. Afraid I'll get my heart broken.

My heart has been broken for a long time. Just hasn't healed right.

We walk up to the door of the Tyler home and suddenly I feel like an intruder... an unwelcome guest. As if when i knock on that door.. I'll ruin their lives. I'm no longer needed here anymore. But I need to see them all... once more.

for my sake.

We walk quietly up the steps and ring the doorbell. Moments pass before footsteps echo in my ears. I feel sick. I close my eyes as does Martha and we wait. The Door swings open as do our eyes and a picture of what I've waited for floods my vision. But something is off.

That can't be my Rose

This girl looks younger than Rose, her eyes aren't quite as old as Rose's. Beside her stands a small girl, her hair done up in braids. I suddenly realize what's going on.

My heart leaps with joy. She has a family.

I ask her if she knows Rose Tyler. She nods, with a look of sorrow. I suddenly I fear that my worst nightmare has come true..that I've missed her. I hold back the vomit that's grown in my throat. She invites us in for tea. Martha and I accept. She leads us to the living room where she sits us down. Her eyes glisten with hope.

Hope that I might know what's happened.

She tells me that her name is Suzette Tyler, Rose's younger sister and that the girl beside her is Rose. Named after the greatest woman she knew. She explains that Rose is her daughter. I smile. She looked remarkably like Rose. Even the shine in her eyes were right. Martha smiles too when she sees the look of happiness on my face. I ask where Rose is now and both become silent.

My heart breaks.

Suzette leads Martha and I up the stairs. The whole time I'm wishing that I could go back in time and save her from all of this. To shove her back in her home. Sometimes I wish I hadn't asked a second time. Sometimes I wish I had left her at home all those times we had gone back. Sometimes I wish.

But wishes never come true. They always end in disappointment.

We walk down the dark halls of the large empty home. Suzette leads us to an old door. Martha grasps my hand as Suzette turns the knob. I watch as Suzette pauses. She looks at me tearfully. She tells me that it's cancer. That Rose doesn't have much time. She tells me that Rose spoke of me often. I ask if Rose ever had children of her own. Suzette nods.

I smile inside. She had a life.

Suzette pushes the door open and shows us a large room. A woman in her forties sits by the window, in a wheel chair. She doesn't move. She just stares. She says nothing as little Rose runs up to her. She just continues staring. Watching. Waiting.

Inside I die a little more.

I suddenly hate myself. For coming here. For putting my self through all of this. But part of me says I've done the right thing. Martha stands beside me. Her eyes welling with tears. No one knows what to say. The room is heavy with silence. Suddenly I'm taken over by my heart and a take a step closer to her.

I can feel her pain.

I take a few more steps and put my hand on her shoulder and we stare out across the abyss that is bad wolf bay. Where this all ended... and where it will end again. For one last time. She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. There are no words to say what we feel. I hold out my hand and whisper to her "Run". Her eyes glow with the memories of our life together and I see the woman I fell in love with so long ago.

My Rose

She grabs my hand weakly and I help her up. I pick her up into my arms and hold her close. I take her outside. To the bay. We look out across the waters. They hold such bitter sweet memories for both of us. She doesn't say a word. Nor do I. We just stay in each others silence. Not believing what has happened. I look down on her beautiful face and a tear falls from my eyes.

I'm loosing her.

She smiles and touches my face. She says that she knew I would come. I smile and let another tear fall. I tell her she doesn't need to go yet. But she smiles back.. knowingly. I take a deep breath and I tell her that I love her. She smiles brighter and her tired voice tells me that she only needed to hear it once. We continue to look at the water, even when it starts to rain. We can't bring ourselves to part. She looks up at me one last time, her smile and eyes so full of love and pain. Then... She says goodbye..one last time.

She's gone.

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This time I stand at her grave for real. They are laying her to rest beside her mother and father. I look across the sea of people from Torchwood and from her family. I spot the Lost boy I knew long ago. His eyes are old and tired, full of sorrow. He sees me and nods. We both know what this woman meant to us. What she meant to these people. 

What she meant to the world.

Rose Tyler the Defender of the earth had died. This is the final story of her life and death. The story of a woman who lost everything to save everyone. The Story of a woman who never gave up...even in death. The Story of a woman who would live on forever in my heart and in the stories I would tell of her. I will speak of her bravery, her honesty, and the pureness of her soul. She would live on in me, like I have in her.

People call me the Doctor, but I couldn't save her. She left before her time. I only wish I had come just a little bit sooner.


	7. New life for a Lonely Angel

Summary: a few takes on a very important day. Tenth Doctor, Shareen, Jack, Martha, Rose (post Doomsday)

A/N: I lied.. this is the last chapter

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Part Six: New life of a Lonely Angel 

He walks sadly to the spot where she was laid to rest. He kneels before her grave and places a Lily. He does this often. His face has aged some. He no longer has that spark of hope in his eyes. But if you look close enough you can see love deep deep down. He can never let go. you can sense it..he never has..never will.

He won't let himself.

I watch from the distance as he sits in front of the grave. He runs his fingers along the name. I can see in his tearful eyes.. that he remembers her more and more each time he comes. He remembers her smile more vividly, her eyes more clearly. He thinks about her life spent here. Her three children. Her husband. Her family. He remembers how she had the strength, a strength he can't seem to find himself.

He's lost with out her. So am I.

He looks off in the direction of the bay. Where it all ended, twice. I can sense that he's feeling alone again. I think he comes here every time he looses another companion. Every time he's left. Every time he wonders what she would have done. He thinks about her death. He feels he is the one to blame. Like it's all his fault.

He's so wrong.

She refused treatment. When she found out. She knew it was her time. She felt it in the air. She told me that she needed to let go. That death was life's final adventure. she'd face it with courage. She wouldn't die crying, she wouldn't spend her last days in a hospital. she told me she'd spend them waiting for him. she said he wouldn't make the mistake again.

I wonder sometimes, who it was he was too late for the first time.

I watch him get up and whisper something that gets drown in the flowing winds. He keeps his eyes set steady on the stone. Thinking again. I emerge from my hiding spot behind the grave of my grandmother and I walk up to him. He doesn't see me coming, he's to wrapped up in sorrow and guilt. I slip my hand in his and he looks at me. I smile ans squeeze his hand tightly.

He knows who I am.

I whisper the words run to him and he looks at me in question. He calls me by my name and I nod. We have an understanding. He asks me how I knew he'd be here. I tell him I come here often to think of her. I smile. He does too.

I guess we both can't let go... even after fifteen years.

We stand in silence at the Grave of Rose Tyler. We look at the name of a woman who saved many and inspired many more. The woman who gave everything for strangers. The woman who never gave up, until she died. We both know that she was a woman of action, a woman of love, and a woman of raw determination. Finally I ask him what has happened to his latest companion. He tells me that his companion had died, in this very world. On a shore not to far from here. He rephrases that once again... and changes companion to friend. His best friend. The woman who meant the world to him. The woman who saved him. I nod then ask again. We both laugh and he tells me his companion had decided it was time to return home. I nod.

Silence takes over our conversation.

He turns to me once again and tells me that I look just like her. That my eyes say forever. That I hold so much potential for great things. He tells me that I am much like the Rose he had known so long ago. That maybe one day. I'll become great like her. That I'll save the world. I shake me head and tell him that life isn't meant for me. He nods and lets go of my hand. He tells me goodbye and walks off towards the beach. His coat whips around his feet as the cold winter winds seem to grow. The rain that had been drizzling all day has started to come down in buckets. The storm is getting worse.

I know that he'll go on to do great things, as long as he keeps her in spirit.

He turns around as rain begins to soak through our skin and drown our souls. He lets out his hand and asks me if I'd like to join him. I look at me feet and tell him that it isn't my place. He nods in understanding. I'd feel like I was replacing her. He walks off into the rain and becomes a mere apparition in my mind. A ghost of my past. A ghost of my world. A lonely Angel. He's the oncoming storm and maybe one day.. that storm will pass.

Then we'll both be ready to live again.

I stand in the rain contemplating my life and my name sake. A woman who lived and died fighting. Here I stand at her grave. In a world that doesn't belong to me. With a name I don't deserve. Living the life that would put her name to shame.

I am nobody.

I run after him.. knowing now what I must do. The rain clouds my vision but I keep running. An odd noise rips to the valley one from my past, from my childhood. I halt and turn to see a big blue box behind me. The Doctor steps from within and holds out his hand. He asks me again if I'd like to come with him. I nod and join him within the Box. I smile as the memories of my Aunt's many stories flood my mind. I look up at him and smile. He moves to the control panel and hits some buttons and we're gone.

A new day.

Today is the day that start the rest of my life. Before now I was no one, but today I am some one.

My name is Rose Tyler, and I will make something of myself, to live up to my name, and to make sure that he..lives up to his.


End file.
